diff --git a/READ_THIS_STORY.md b/READ_THIS_STORY.md new file mode 100644 index 000000000..5018c46e0 --- /dev/null +++ b/READ_THIS_STORY.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +Forget about boxers or briefs. I’m talking about boxes of beef. I’ve got a freezer full of them and I’m not wearing a thing. Twenty-eight cardboard boxes filled with the lowest quality beef allowed by law sit and wait in the frosty darkness. I visit them every morning and pick my box. “You are the lucky prince today,” I whisper as I tenderly remove the gift from its icy tomb. + +I am starving and extremely nude. I haven’t eaten in almost fifteen hours. I have to let the beef thaw. I tear off handfuls of dense, grey meat and press it firmly into the pan. The heat is extraordinary. Hot grease pops and splatters my naked body. I am covered in tiny scars - a horrendous Jackson Pollock painting. They are badges of honor. + +The ground beef becomes greyer and greyer as the flames lick the bottom of the dented pan. I’ve had this iron behemoth for years. It was my father’s and it was his father’s before that. We have all cooked our beefs in it. I love it as I would a son. I would die for it. + +This is my life. You are welcome to join if you dare. I eat this ground beef every day. I add no extra flavors or colors. It is just me, the heat, the beef, and my scalded body. Take my hand and follow me down the winding path toward heaven. I’ll feed you like the tiniest baby bird in the world. My body will guard yours from the waves of molten grease. + +My universe is full of untold treasures and delights. You are lucky enough to be the one I have chosen to share them with. Disrobe. Come with me. Eat the beef. Experience life for the first time. Every breath will be fresher than the one before. Your eyes will see things that you never thought possible. Your reflexes will quicken. Your hearing will become superhuman. Your mouth will be full of beef. Your body will be devoid of cloth. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/myname.md b/myname.md new file mode 100644 index 000000000..512ac406c --- /dev/null +++ b/myname.md @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +is Kyle \ No newline at end of file