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Gossip Girl (Kristen Bell): Hey Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. And I have the biggest news ever. One of my many sources, Melanie91, sends us this: “Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand: Serena van der Woodsen.” Was it only a year ago our It Girl mysteriously disappeared for “boarding school”? And just as suddenly, she’s back. Don’t believe me? See for yourselves. Lucky for us, Melanie91 sent proof. Thanks for the photo, Mel.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Lonely Boy. Can’t believe the love of his life has returned. If only she knew who he was. But everyone knows Serena. And everyone is talking. Wonder what Blair Waldorf thinks. Sure, they’re BFF’s, but we always thought Blair’s boyfriend Nate had a thing for Serena.

Gossip Girl: Better lock it down with Nate, B. Clock’s ticking.

Gossip Girl: Word is that S bailed on B’s party in under ninety seconds. And didn’t even have one limoncello.

Gossip Girl: Has our bad girl really gone good? Or is it all just part of the act?

Gossip Girl: Why’d she leave? Why’d she return? Send me all the deets. And who am I? That’s the secret I’ll never tell. The only one. —XOXO. Gossip Girl.