bs.py

#! /usr/bin/env python3
# Corporate bullshit generator

import random

adverbs = [ 'appropriately', 'assertively', 'authoritatively', 'collaboratively', 'compellingly', 'competently', 'completely', 'continually', 'conveniently', 'credibly', 'distinctively', 'dramatically', 'dynamically', 'efficiently', 'energistically', 'enthusiastically', 'fungibly', 'globally', 'holisticly', 'interactively', 'intrinsically', 'monotonectally', 'objectively', 'phosfluorescently', 'proactively', 'professionally', 'progressively', 'quickly', 'rapidiously', 'seamlessly', 'synergistically', 'uniquely' ]

verbs = [ 'actualize', 'administrate', 'aggregate', 'architect', 'benchmark', 'brand', 'build', 'cloudify', 'communicate', 'conceptualize', 'coordinate', 'create', 'cultivate', 'customize', 'deliver', 'deploy', 'develop', 'dinintermediate disseminate', 'drive', 'embrace', 'e-enable', 'empower', 'enable', 'engage', 'engineer', 'enhance', 'envisioneer', 'evisculate', 'evolve', 'expedite', 'exploit', 'extend', 'fabricate', 'facilitate', 'fashion', 'formulate', 'foster', 'generate', 'grow', 'harness', 'impact', 'implement', 'incentivize', 'incubate', 'initiate', 'innovate', 'integrate', 'iterate', 'leverage existing', "leverage other's", 'maintain', 'matrix', 'maximize', 'mesh', 'monetize', 'morph', 'myocardinate', 'negotiate', 'network', 'optimize', 'orchestrate', 'parallel', 'task', 'plagiarize', 'pontificate', 'predominate', 'procrastinate', 'productivate', 'productize', 'promote', 'provide access to', 'pursue', 'recaptiualize', 'reconceptualize', 'redefine', 're-engineer', 'reintermediate', 'reinvent', 'repurpose', 'restore', 'revolutionize', 'right-shore', 'scale', 'seize', 'simplify', 'strategize', 'streamline', 'supply', 'syndicate', 'synergize', 'synthesize', 'target', 'transform', 'transition', 'underwhelm', 'unleash', 'utilize', 'visualize', 'whiteboard' ]

adjectives = [ '24/7', '24/365', 'accurate', 'adaptive', 'alternative', 'an expanded array of', 'B2B', 'B2C', 'backend', 'backward-compatible', 'best-of-breed', 'bleeding-edge', 'bricks-and-clicks', 'business', 'clicks-and-mortar', 'client-based', 'client-centered', 'client-centric', 'client-focused', 'cloud-based', 'cloud-centric', 'cloudified', 'collaborative', 'compelling', 'competitive', 'cooperative', 'corporate', 'cost', 'effective', 'covalent', 'cross', 'functional', 'cross-media', 'cross-platform', 'cross-unit', 'customer directed', 'customized', 'cutting-edge', 'distinctive', 'distributed', 'diverse', 'dynamic', 'e-business', 'economically sound', 'effective', 'efficient', 'elastic', 'emerging', 'empowered', 'enabled', 'end-to-end', 'enterprise', 'enterprise-wide', 'equity invested', 'error-free', 'ethical', 'excellent', 'exceptional', 'extensible', 'extensive', 'flexible', 'focused', 'frictionless', 'front-end', 'fully researched', 'fully tested', 'functional', 'functionalized', 'fungible', 'future-proof', 'global', 'go', 'forward', 'goal-oriented', 'granular', 'high standards in', 'high-payoff', 'hyperscale', 'high-quality', 'highly efficient', 'holistic', 'impactful', 'inexpensive', 'innovative', 'installed base', 'integrated', 'interactive', 'interdependent', 'intermandated', 'interoperable', 'intuitive', 'just', 'in', 'time', 'leading-edge', 'leveraged', 'long-term high-impact', 'low-risk high-yield', 'magnetic', 'maintainable', 'market', 'positioning', 'market-driven', 'mission-critical', 'multidisciplinary', 'multifunctional', 'multimedia based', 'next-generation', 'on-demand', 'one-to-one', 'open-source', 'optimal', 'orthogonal', 'out-of-the-box', 'pandemic', 'parallel', 'performance based', 'plug-and-play', 'premier', 'premium', 'principle-centered', 'proactive', 'process-centric', 'professional', 'progressive', 'prospective', 'quality', 'real-time', 'reliable', 'resource-sucking', 'resource-maximizing', 'resource-leveling', 'revolutionary', 'robust', 'scalable', 'seamless', 'stand-alone', 'standardized', 'standards compliant', 'state of the art', 'sticky', 'strategic', 'superior', 'sustainable', 'synergistic', 'tactical', 'team building', 'team driven', 'technically sound', 'timely', 'top-line', 'transparent', 'turnkey', 'ubiquitous', 'unique', 'user-centric', 'user friendly', 'value-added', 'vertical', 'viral', 'virtual', 'visionary', 'web-enabled', 'wireless', 'world-class', 'worldwide' ]

nouns = [ 'action', 'items', 'alignments', 'applications', 'architectures', 'bandwidth', 'benefits', 'best', 'practices', 'catalysts for change', 'channels', 'clouds', 'collaboration and idea-sharing', 'communities', 'content', 'convergence', 'core competencies', 'customer service', 'data', 'deliverables', 'e-business', 'e-commerce', 'e-markets', 'e-tailers', 'e-services', 'experiences', 'expertise', 'functionalities', 'fungibility', 'growth strategies', 'human capital', 'ideas', 'imperatives', 'infomediaries', 'information', 'infrastructures', 'initiatives', 'innovation', 'intellectual capital', 'interfaces', 'internal or "organic" sources', 'leadership', 'leadership skills', 'manufactured products', 'markets', 'materials', 'meta-services', 'methodologies', 'methods of empowerment', 'metrics', 'mindshare', 'models', 'networks', 'niches', 'niche markets', 'nosql', 'opportunities', '"outside the box" thinking', 'outsourcing', 'paradigms', 'partnerships', 'platforms', 'portals', 'potentialities', 'process improvements', 'processes', 'products', 'quality vectors', 'relationships', 'resources', 'results', 'ROI', 'scenarios', 'schemas', 'services', 'solutions', 'sources', 'strategic theme areas', 'storage', 'supply chains', 'synergy', 'systems', 'technologies', 'technology', 'testing procedures', 'total linkage', 'users', 'value', 'vortals', 'web-readiness', 'web', 'services', 'virtualization' ]

nadjectives = int(random.random()*10) % 2

words = []
if nadjectives:
    words.extend([ random.choice(adverbs), random.choice(verbs), random.choice(adjectives), random.choice(nouns)])
else:
    words.extend([random.choice(adverbs), random.choice(verbs), random.choice(adjectives), random.choice(adjectives), random.choice(nouns)])

sentence = ' '.join(words)

print(sentence)